Lest you think, dear readers, that my fear and loathing of April is unfounded...
...besides the loss of Ozzy, and the four year anniversary of losing Alan, I also had to find Max a new home last week for reasons that are too complicated and painful for me to explain here. Happily, he's been blessed with a great new family--who loved him on sight--especially the 12-year old boy. They bonded like only a boy and his dog can, which was heartwarming, but also heartbreaking (for me).
...I had to go back to the eye surgeon. The inside corner of my right eyelid looks like I have a permanent sty. It's an odd bump of skin that isn't going away like it should. My left eye is perfect, the right looks like shit. The doctor is making me wait for a few months before she fixes it because she's convinced it will go away over time. Let me just say for the record: I don't believe for a minute that it will go away and this is just postponing the inevitable.
...the dishwasher broke on Sunday. Course, I can wash by hand, and did for all the years I lived in Edinburgh, but if I want to ever sell the house, I need functioning appliances. I spent some time on the internet, pricing and whatnot, but holy crap, I don't want to fork out over $500 (and that's on sale), plus what it will cost to have it installed. And there goes any hope of a holiday this year.
...Monday the tea kettle caught fire. I got so used to an electric kettle whilst living abroad, that when we moved to the States, both Alan and I agreed that the first small appliance we purchased had to be the kettle. There isn't a great selection here--southern Oregon after all--but I eventually found a replacement yesterday. Now I just have to scrub the scorch marks out of the grout on the kitchen counter.
...my gardener/helper guy fell off the wagon, just when I need him the most. He hasn't shown up for two weeks now, the grass is knee-high across the road (which I have to maintain for fire regulations), as is the slope below the deer fence in the back garden. I either have to find someone else really quick, or go buy a 200-ft extension cord and an industrial weed whacker to do the job myself.
...took the Blazer in for his semi-annual fluids and oil change. I expected an easy in-and-out, not much money spent to get serviced for the Summer. You know where I'm going with this, right? Uh huh. $250 later. Does money grow on frigging trees? If so, where can I find one? I'll even settle for seeds...
On Friday I'm doing a complete cleanse of the house, the gardens, the Blazer. I'm overwhelmed by dark vibes, too many tears and the echoes from the empty spaces in my heart and spirit. It's time to move into the light...metaphorically. I have several smudge sticks that I bought in New Mexico awhile back and once I decide which bundle will be the most effective, I'm going to get up early on
Friday morning, move through my personal landscapes with chants to the four directions...and begin the new month with a cleaner environment and--hopefully--a calmer spirit.