Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Done and Dusted...Yeah, Sure

I finished the half-day DIY bathroom project yesterday.  On the eighth day.  Course, part of that time was taken with other massive procrastination, ennui, denial, and total lack of enthusiasm, to name a few.  By the time I reached Day Five, I was so over the whole project and could barely get myself to go into the bathroom at all--so, good thing I have a spare then.  I took some time away from it, and let things chill for a bit.

Yesterday I realized that in the chilling, I had lost three days.  Holy crap, I've got stuff to do!

The first thing on the agenda was to spray all the plant life in my front garden with coyote pee deer deterrent, which--so far--is actually working, although I have to do it every week instead of the monthly recommendation.  I fell for that "once a month" thing last year and lost every single plant, shrub and bloom.

Once that chore was done, I stripped off all my outerwear and immediately threw everything in the washing machine.  The reeking smell of this deer spray can stick with you like the Bog of Eternal Stench** so clothes, hands and tools have to be cleaned post haste or you'll be really will anyone downwind of you.

Next, it was on to mowing the lawn.  The grass has grown wildly, almost overnight, and gotten so tall my two wee boys look like they're tramping through elephant grass in an African savanna.  Goes without saying it's not really conducive for a manly pee.  

Or when using a push mower.  

I should have just gone to Home Depot and bought a scythe to hack it down rather than try to mow (though isn't a scythe just about the scariest tool ever??).  Still, I got it done.  The dogs are happy now, able to see what they're doing, and I'm glad I didn't wait any longer.  Triffids came to mind as I struggled and cursed, pushed and pulled.

After dragging my butt inside, changing clothes yet again--due to the tee shirt sweat-molded to my body, and grass clippings stuck like confetti all over my jeans--I pause to have lunch, feed the boys, and briefly contemplate leaving the bathroom for another day.  But no.  I can only stand to have stuff hanging over my head for so long before it drives me nuts, so onward and upward woman.

As much as I would relish sharing the experience of the next four hours--the painstaking measuring of hems, the ripping out of same, twice; the dawning realization there would be no way to accurately hem curtains in an uneven, recessed opening; the shriek of horrified dismay when I accidentally ironed my plastic-coated tape measure (which was around my neck for ease in measuring) to the first finished curtain panel, melting it in a spectacular blend of red and white swirls on my neutral colored linen curtains--this posting would be too long and no one would believe me anyway.

Long story short:  I finally finished those effing curtains around 7:00 last night.  And though in my mind they are far, far from perfect, they really don't look half bad, all things considered.  And I managed to blend two paint color samples in a pretty near match to cover the putty knife gouge/spackling job.  I'm really pleased, thankful, and so very glad this blasted DIY project is finally over.


This morning, whilst brushing my teeth, the cold water faucet started dripping.  No, really.  Out of the blue.  There have been no problems at all before this.  Usually, without a thought, I just turn the handle, and the frigging bugger bloody damn water shuts off.  

So, okay then, let's review, shall we?  I was done with the bathroom DIY for...what?  Maybe 13 hours?


**Anyone know what movie??


  1. Having just completed a bathroom myself (during which I gave myself pneumonia sanding the mold away that was under the tiles...) I can relate and find great humor in this tale of woe! The curtain fiasco was a timely reminder why I have pointedly avoided a sewing machine for years--yet I do envy your a six foot tall amazon, I would LOOOOOVE to find (make) a sundress that actually reached my ankles. *sigh* Rock on your DIY self, girls that can spackle are the best.

    1. Yikes! Pneumonia? See, DIY is a dangerous business, not for the weak or faint of heart.

      Though I actually like being handy with the DIY stuff, I just wish it wasn't necessary so often in this money pit I call home

  2. The movie in question I always thought of as a ham-handed, musical rip-off of The Dark Crystal...but it did have an owl in it.

    1. Totally agree. Though I didn't watch the movie for the owl or the music. I had a mad crush on Bowie at the time. It helped that he wore those skintight pants. (I make no excuses...)