Monday, April 30, 2012

So. April Gets the Last Word...

I was hoping to slide out of April without any further ado...or crisis...or chaos...or whatever crap I usually suffer in my annual 30 days of torment, especially after my minor triumph at the start of the month with the car.  A triumph barely remembered now in the wake of the Great American Printer Toss; the bathroom DIY--curtains, wall gouging and paint; the dental issues with the werewolf fang; and let's not forget the unprecedented April heat wave.

Hopes dashed, of course.

Saturday morning, I'm opening one of the eleven 6' x 4-1/2' blinds in the great room and the wand breaks off from the header mechanism.  Well shit.  I had a nice, quiet weekend planned:  reading, walking the dogs, working on the postcard-making project.  I would truly like one frigging damn day without having to deal with this bloody house. 

Initially I just try to see if I can reattach the wand.  (Are you laughing?)  The piece that broke is metal, there's no way to fix it.  I can see where the piece fits into the header, a part that might come out to possibly be replaced.  (Laughing harder?)   I get the vise grips, twist the broken metal to open the blinds, and after walking the dogs later in the morning, I go to Lowe's as they have a better blind/shade department than Home Depot.

I try to keep a ridiculous idiotic positive attitude that I will be able to buy a $5 part, snap out the broken piece and replace it with the new.  Minimum investment of time and money, and I'm back to my original laid back plans for the weekend.  (Rolling on the floor in hysterics yet?)

They don't have a replacement part for the broken wand because this style of Levolor blind isn't made anymore.  Of course it's not.  The only recourse I have is to buy a new one.  I'm very concerned that I won't be able to match the new blind to the other ten, and I swear, I'll nuke this effing money pit house before I replace all eleven of these six-foot blinds. 

I bring the color chart home, match as best I can, do the measuring, and go back on Sunday to order the custom blind.  What?  You thought I could just buy one off the shelf?  (Maniacal laughter; dogs look worried.)

It's going to cost me over $100--a far cry from the ridiculous idiotic positive attitude I tried to hang on to of the $5 fix--and I have to install the blind myself.  I wasn't about to pay an additional $75 just for a guy to come in for five minutes to do it for me.  I might have to wait until my mother and sister come for Mother's Day weekend to help with holding and balancing things because this isn't a small or lightweight blind, but the timing is good: it will arrive about the same time they do.

In the meantime, on this last day of a bitter and cruel month, I'm staying under the radar, hoping the Great Eye of Sauron--or whatever demon rules April--has turned away from me and is focused elsewhere.  Tomorrow is May...if I had a Maypole, I would dance around it with joy, tangling the ribbons, flinging Spring flowers, laughing with joy that April is over for another year.

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