Saturday, August 18, 2012

Alfalfa Sprouts

So, I get up this morning, let the dogs out, make some coffee and when passing one of the mirrors, I notice a portion of hair at the back of my crown is sticking straight up, like Alfalfa, one of the Little Rascal kids.  I run my fingers through my hair, but this one piece just won't settle down.

I smile, picturing that boy, but carry on with my morning, because after all, it's just a case of extreme bed hair and will go away when I take a shower, though I can't imagine what I was doing in my sleep to get such a peculiar hair style.

Shower, dry my hair, look in the mirror.  WTF?  The chunk of hair is pointing to the ceiling.  I dunk my head in the bathroom sink, scrub the spot at the back of my head, repeat the brushing and drying, and for about two seconds, I think I've conquered the weird hair issue.  But no.  I'm looking in the mirror as the hair springs back up.  All I needed was the special effect boing sound to complete my dismay.

Another dunking, more creative hair drying, a momentary contemplation of heating up the iron to press the unruly strands down--thankfully a quickly discarded plan as I came to my senses.  My hair is fairly short and a trip to the ER, explaining how I got 3rd degree burns on my head with an iron just wasn't how I wanted to spend my time.

But, two dunkings later (three if you count the shower), blow drying, numerous hair products, and every hair trick I know...I still stood, looking into the mirror at my Alfalfa sprout.  I get out my hand mirror and look into it as I turn my back to the big mirror.  If I tip my head, I can see...what is that??  It looks like a little tornado has spun through my hair, leaving behind a newly-formed cowlick?!  How can that be?  Cowlicks don't just appear out of thin air.  Do they?  Aren't you born with them?

The dogs could care less if I have one cowlick or twenty.  It's time for their walk. 

As we're wandering around the grounds of the VA, I'm mulling over this strange turn of events.  Did I sleepwalk down in the valley at one of the farms and let a cow slurp my head?  Has the debilitating heat finally corkscrewed my brain, manifesting in swirls on my scalp?

Back home, I get on the internet to figure out what's going on.

Turns out that, yes, indeed, most people are born with their cowlicks, though often by adulthood they have gone away.  It's a directional hair follicle deal, and as kids grow, things change.  Adults can have cowlicks appear after head injuries, chemical treatments, events that have impacted skull or scalp.  It's not often a cowlick just spontaneously sprouts, and there's no explanation for why when they do.  Great.

Nothing can be done about it either.  Well, some folks (according to the internet articles I read) have done electrolysis, though that's out of the question.  I would rather look like Alfalfa than shoot electrodes into my head.  I have enough issues, thanks.

I'm blaming it on the heat, of course.  I think my brain has fried, the proof first being in the tornado swirl of a cow's tongue; the second in the Alfalfa spear that no amount of fiddling has succeeded in taming.  So far.  Though I hear Gorilla Glue is pretty effective for most everything.

What can I say?  I look like a dork, and Alaska is sounding better by the day:  No more annihilating heat.  And I can wear a hat nearly year round.


  1. OMG... what a funny story. You'll be telling it for a while for sure...the body changes in some strange ways, I tell ya!

    1. I think my only recourse is to cut my hair really short and spike all of it; hopefully then no one will notice the Alfalfa sprout...