How Much Loft...??

So last week I get this email from Microsoft telling me I need to upgrade to Internet Explorer 9.  Huh.  Thought I already had 9, but okay.  I download, carry on, things seem fine for a day or so, then suddenly every single bloody time I want to look at a website, I get a message that tells me Internet Explorer isn't responding and I need to close the program.  Every. Single. Bloody. Time.  And the menu bar has disappeared, taking my File, Edit, View, Favorites, Tools and Help functions.  Nothing I do can find and/or restore these features.  Buggers and damnation.

I put up with this aggravating turn of events for a few irritating days, thinking any minute the problems will self-correct and I can get back to my usual ease of surfing with all my menu items intact.  Apparently, I seem to think I live in an alternate Universe where things magically work themselves out, as opposed to the actual one where I get so frigging frustrated, by yesterday afternoon I'm considering flinging the laptop off the mountain--and there's no question that I'm fully capable of doing just that; the Great American Printer Toss of 2012, is a shining example of my degree of tolerance.

But.  Sanity prevails.  I find a Microsoft site that says if you're tired of the Beta version of IE9, and want to return to IE8, follow these simple instructions.  When IE9 is removed, and your computer restarts, it will automatically default back to IE8.  Oh hooray!  I make myself a cup of tea whilst waiting, hopeful that all has now been corrected and I'm back in the game.  I settle in front of the laptop, ready to roll...

There is no Internet Explorer.  Nothing.  It's been completely, totally obliterated.  There is no IE8, 9 or any other damn number.  I have no browser whatsoever.  Searching, digging deep, using every trick I know, delving into the bowels of my system, I still find nothing.  Internet Explorer has been wiped.

I lose the plot for a few minutes, the air scorched with my curses and threats to hire a hit on Bill Gates and his crap simple instructions and worthless IE9.  Then I call the local computer place, thinking they can tell me how to reload a browser, any browser.  After a convoluted fifteen minutes, I end up going down the mountain to the shop.  The techie guys are amazed that I was correct:  there is no IE anywhere on the entire system.

The solution?  For $30 they reinstall it for me.  And yeah, they reinstall IE9 because that's the latest version, Beta or not.  Two hours of aggro, and I'm right back where I started.  Well, except for that $30 that Gates owes me.  One good thing that happened though is the techie showed me how to restore my menu bar and reconfigure some other missing stuff.

All is good then.  Things have been fixed, the system seems to be working, I have no complaints, so maybe it was worth the $30.  And I downloaded another browser as soon as I got home for backup.  Just in case.

This morning I'm eating my breakfast, reading one of my Daily Fix blogs; when I finish reading, I click on the next one...and a message pops up telling me Internet Explorer is not responding and I have to close the program.

I'm wondering.  Would I get better loft if I frisbee the laptop off the back deck, or the front...?????