Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
I'm throwing in the towel. Cutting my losses. Folding up my tent. Admitting defeat. I haven't been able to write a single word on the book since Friday, due to unavoidable circumstances (life), and with Thanksgiving--cooking, cleaning and company coming--there's just no way I can finish writing this year. Besides, if I hadn't started the story during NaNo, I would've shit-canned it after the first week anyway, but instead I tried to plow on, forcing myself to write even when I knew it was crap and not working.
This morning, walking the dogs in a really great wind storm which must have blown away my malfunctioning brains cells, my mind finally cleared, and at last I got it. When the fun turns to nothing but aggro and stress, what's the point? It's not like having a moment in the story where you struggle with an idea, or a paragraph, or a scene, but you still love the characters, and where the plot is going. No, in this case, struggling became the process, not a random obstacle.
And you know? I'm okay with this decision. If there's anything I despise more, it's doing something pointless. So, I'm going to pack the notes, the first nine chapters, and my second thoughts in a drawer and move on. I should have known better, too. I'm halfway through writing another book, but decided to try something new for NaNo rather than work on the other. There's a lesson learned.
Another indication that this is the right move, is the relief I'm feeling. Now I can concentrate on the upcoming holiday, read, watch movies, write what I feel like, when I feel like...and with no pressure. Sounds way better than what I've been doing for the last few weeks.
So, to all of you out there, still marching forward, building your word counts, loving your story: more power to you and the best of luck in finishing! I'll be here, cheering you on...because now I actually have the energy to be enthusiastic!
[How I wish I could have stabbed that basilisk tooth into my own crap story...]
Yeh, forcing yourself to do anything is a bad scene. It's best to just let the words flow. What you will conceive without the constraints and rules will be more precious and powerful than what would've been borne of chains and conventions.
ReplyDeleteThe real deal-breaker was when I began to actively dread sitting down to write. That's like dreading to take the next breath. Time to stop the madness. ;D
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