Thursday, May 3, 2012

Being...In the Moment

Lately I've been sidelined by the endless DIY, concerns about selling the house--what I'm going to do/where I'm going to go when I sell the house--and I realized this morning that I've lost my focus, I'm not living in the here and now.  Either it's the past, or the future, that are boggling my mind.  And that's the crux.  My mindfulness has fled under the deluge of things filling my mind.

I'm not finding my equilibrium when I write, because the only part of me vaguely in the present are my fingers, channeling the words from my head to the page.  My mind is in the story, planning ahead, steering the characters, thinking of future events.  The blog is more immediate, though only for the time I'm doing it, then my focus shifts again; doing chores, shopping, walking the dogs, I'm reliving other times or anticipating future ones.

I am not in the moment.  I'm not here...I'm...elsewhere.

So, in the interest of refreshing my brain, settling myself down, finding both my focus and my balance, I've decided to get back to my photography.  To take a photo, you have to be aware of your surroundings, focus on what can capture your attention, keep your eyes wide open to possibilities, see what's actually right in front of you, right now.

Every day, for the rest of this month, I'm going to take a picture of something interesting.  What does that mean, you ask?  What constitutes "interesting?"  And interesting to whom?  I guess interesting will mean whatever appeals, grips, provokes or strikes me at the moment.

And I have to say--after arriving at this idea--that I spent my time walking the boys this morning with a sharper eye, noticing details I haven't paid attention to, colors that sparkled in the misty rain, the perfect clarity of images upside down in a mud puddle.  I was gloriously there, and it felt good.

The photo leading this post today was taken once I got home to my camera.  It's a Bleeding Heart growing in my back garden.  I love the pristine white against the green, the perfect shape of the heart.

From now on, for the duration of the month, I will have my camera ready, and my mind focused.  I'm already feeling more awake, aware, here.  And that's the whole point of this exercise.

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